Rippling Dreams
by SupaLollipop
Summary: Adrien dreams of a girl in red and black spots with the bluest eyes he's ever seen. And he dreams of losing her and curses himself for being useless every night. AU where Ladybug sacrifices herself and Chat has amnesia. Two-shot.
1. Rippling Dreams

**A/N:** I am crap and I really like pain. And I shall share it with you. Here ya go!

* * *

 **Rippling Dreams**

When Adrien dreams, he dreams of a golden lit Paris at night, the luminous moon hanging eternally in the sky, him crouching casually on a rooftop and a girl standing next to him. The distant lights of the Eiffel Tower twinkle, as if fairy dust was sprinkled all over the magnificent structure, but he doesn't pay too much attention to the scenic view in front of him. Instead, he's marvelling at the girl and the city reflected in her sky-blue eyes.

She's a slender girl, wearing a full bodysuit of red and black spots and a similarly patterned mask over her face, but he finds that the red draws him in all the more. Her glossy midnight hair shines sapphire blue in the light, tied in two very endearing pigtails, which sway as she turns to him, smiling and offering a hand for him to stand up.

Adrien stares speechlessly, frozen as he is struck by the full force of her hypnotic eyes. He remembers that she's still waiting for him to take his hand, and suddenly he is scared. Terrified. He is aware that she's a very pretty girl who instantly makes him feel incredibly self-conscious, but the fear chills him too deeply in his chest to be something that simple.

But her smile gives him courage, the courage to reach out to her outstretched hand.

He doesn't manage to touch it. Because the girl starts to disappear in front of his eyes and Adrien springs up in alarm, stumbling on his legs to chase after her fading figure. He reaches out to her, trying again and again, to bring her back, to feel her warm beating body against his, but he doesn't know why. He doesn't know who she is but a name tumbles out of his mouth:

" _Ladybu-"_

And Adrien wakes up. He is in his room, alone, in his cold mansion and there is no red to be found.

Countless times, he has woken up in the same manner. He always forgets the name his dream self utters but he always remembers the girl in his dreams.

xxxxxxxxx

Cameras flash uncomfortably in his eyes as he poses according to the photographer's directions. Another day of modelling without pleasure and another day of his father pretending that he doesn't exist. It's been like this for far too long now and Adrien grows numb.

His world is a dull black and white picture with nothing but moving stone statues and distant voices. His world has looked like that ever since a certain incident last year. He doesn't remember what happened but after he woke up in the hospital, he could no longer see colour. No greens, no reds, no blues, nothing but shades of grey.

He tells no one of his condition, not even Nino. He doesn't want to become a deficiency in his father's eyes, or at least, any more of a burden he already was. The tabloids would love it, _"Adrien Agreste, colour-blind_ _from_ _trauma"_ and he could imagine his father's displeasure at him, disgracing the family name.

The only colours he could see now were the colours in his mind's eye, of the bright red of spandex costume and the burning blue blue of that girl's eyes.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sometimes, another girl appears in his dreams.

It's day-time and she's waving at him from across the street. Strangely, the Parisian streets are empty for such a seemingly active hour, but Adrien can't seem think logically. He is too focused on the pigtailed girl with the lopsided smile.

She's different from the girl in red but somehow she draws him in all the same. He returns her smile and starts to cross the street to greet her.

He barely makes two steps forward when a swarm of black butterflies swoops down in an ominous shroud around the girl and covers his view completely.

He tries to gently bat them away so he can pass but the butterflies lash back at him maliciously, glowing sinister purple. Adrien is a person who cared about animals normally, but his morals fly out the window when he knows that that girl is potentially in danger. Again, he doesn't know who she is but she sparks some kind of protectiveness in him and he wants to keep her safe, safe from the world and all its evils.

So he swipes and swats and tears into the nasty butterflies, ignoring them when they smother his face and nearly choke him. _The girl, he need_ _ed_ _to reach that girl._

His efforts hardly bear any fruit. No matter how many butterflies he clears, there are plenty more to replace them. He fights them for – god knows how long – and when they finally have enough and dissipate to the darkened sky, the street across from him is empty. The girl is gone.

Adrien screams and screams until he wakes up.

xxxxxxxxxx

Haunted by the same dreams (nightmares) every night, a sick and weary Adrien decides do research on the girl, lest he got sent to the asylum for being crazy obsessed with an imaginary person.

After several searches on the internet which included 'girl in red', 'masked maiden' and 'costumed girl in pigtails' he finally hits the mark with 'ladybug girl'. He is led to a blog called 'The Ladyblog', now deactivated by the moderator. It turns out that the girl wasn't so imaginary after all.

She was a real person, a superhero to be more specific, who was apparently a big deal in Paris up until she went missing a year ago. Adrien finds it rather odd that he doesn't remember anything about her or what she did at all. Regardless, everything about the girl on his computer screen matched with the girl in his dreams, every spot on her suit, the shape of her lips, the pigtails, it all matched. If he could see colours, he'd bet that her costume would be the same red and her eyes the same blue as well.

Adrien leans back in his chair, slightly relieved to be able to put a name to her face at last. But he had to wonder how he knew the superheroine, well enough to have such vivid dreams about her. Did he meet her once? If he did then why didn't he remember her? Did she perhaps have something to do with the accident?

Hoping to sate his curiosity, he continues to browse the blog for more information. In many of the videos, he also sees a boy in a similar black spandex suit with artificial cat ears, often seen standing next to Ladybug. Adrien watches the footage of the two of them battling the 'akuma' and he feels a strange sense of familiarity with the boy.

He was called Chat Noir.

xxxxxxxxxx

The next time he dreams, he is lucid enough to fire questions at the girl he now knows as Ladybug. He asks them as soon as he sees her: "Are you Ladybug?", "Why am I dreaming of you?", "Do I know you?", "Where are you now?", "Who is the girl across the street?", "What are the black butterflies?" and finally "Why are you being silent? Please talk to me!"

He thinks to himself, he's delirious, surely. Ladybug may be real, but the Ladybug here is merely a figment of his imagination. Part of his dream and created from his own brain for some bizarre reason. How could she possibly know any more than he does?

Ladybug smiles serenely at his questions and speaks for the first time in any of his dreams. "Oh, you're so silly, Chat Noir." she giggles fondly.

Adrien's eyes widen. _Chat Noir._ She called him Chat Noir. The boy on the Ladyblog.

Without warning, Ladybug starts to disappear before he could get any answers from her. Again, it's the same routine, his body moves without his knowledge, chasing in futility and crying out her name.

" _Ladybug!"_

Adrien wakes up. He sits up and clutches his head in dismay. He hoped to get answers but he only ended up with more questions to wring his head over.

xxxxxxxxx

Once more, he dreams. This time, he does not find himself on a Parisian rooftop over looking the city. No, this time it's pitch darkness and Adrien cannot see anything around him, not a wall nor a floor, nothing.

He stumbles through the darkness like a baby, hoping to find something solid or supportive, until he hears a quiet voice behind him, cutting through the eerie silence.

"Hey, kitty."

It is the voice of that girl, Ladybug. Of course she was going to appear again. Adrien turns around.

Standing behind him is Ladybug, but not quite. She is also the girl from his other dreams, the one who was consumed by the black butterflies time and time again. The one he was unable to save.

She is a literal combination of both girls and startlingly so. Her entire body shifts and blurs between the red bodysuit of Ladybug and the casual clothes of the civilian girl before his eyes, like a virus or error. The mask on her face appears and disappears and Adrien realises belatedly that her blue eyes stay _the exact same_.

Initially, he is spooked by her appearance – _what happened?_ \- but not repulsed. So when she gingerly takes his hand in hers, stroking his knuckles slowly, soothingly, he doesn't pull away.

For once, she isn't smiling. In fact, her lip is trembling and her eyes are moist, tears dripping down her face like tiny star drops. She isn't looking at him, instead, she's fixed onto their joined hands as if she was set with the most important task in the world.

Seeing her crying face hurts Adrien as much as if he was the one who was suffering. He wants to wipe away her tears with his free hand and kiss her delicate eyelids as if doing that would rid her grief. He never felt like being so intimate with someone before, it was unreasonable, but somehow it fit perfectly with him.

Before he could act on these urges, the girl stops her movement. Her mouth opens and she takes a shaky breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she almost whispers and takes the ring on his hand that he never realised he had.

It slides easily off his pliant fingers and Adrien feels a change in his body. No, rather, when did he change? He hadn't realised that his body was covered in black formfitting material until it started to wash off by mysterious magic. _Chat Noir's outfit._ He was wearing Chat Noir's outfit the entire time, the black originally blending in the darkness. And now he was back in his plain designer clothes.

She backs away from him, ring in hand, and she's smiling. Smiling sadly. She speaks more words than she ever did before with _that smile_. He has seen it before. _He_ _'_ _s seen this happen before._

It takes a moment for his lost memories to jolt back into place and it doesn't even take a second before he's racing after her, Ladybug – no – Marinette. Oh sweet, sweet, dear Marinette. His princess. His Marinette.

Behind her, the world explodes with light, blinding Adrien, but he continues relentlessly, despite the temporary loss of sight, tripping over his feet and probably bruising his knees and elbows. She's fading away, again, but Adrien refuses to let her go, determined not to lose her, not this time, not after so many failures.

He doesn't realise that he is screaming his voice hoarse. "Marinette! Marinette! MARINETTE!"

Desperate, he launches himself at her, hoping to pin her down and keep her here, with him, but it is too late. His fingers grab at nothing and Marinette's entire body is gone. Up until the very end, she was smiling at him.

 _She's gone._ Adrien seizes up and he free falls into the blank whiteness. There isn't a floor to catch him but he awaits the impact anyway, wishing to end his agony because what was a world without _her_?

There is no impact. Instead, he wakes up.

Adrien sits up, slowly. The first thing he does is check his hand. It's bare. There's no ring. He looks around the room. There isn't an imp-faced kwami pestering him for more cheese. He's alone.

He guffaws, bitterly, broken. It was a dream. There was no second chance. But it was real. His inspiration, his greatest friend and the one love of his life, Ladybug – Marinette – is gone. Forever. That was the reality.

Hollow laughter eventually becomes guttural, painful sobs, echoing uselessly in the grey, grey, lonely room.


	2. Mirage

**A/N:** Okay, it took me a while to get round to it but here you go! The sequel to Rippling Dreams! People have been asking for it and I also felt particularly inspired by a song so I might as well. Enjoy~

* * *

 **Mirage**

"Chat! Chat!"

His body feels ice cold as he awakens to the familiar voice of his partner. He registers the zip sound of her signature yo-yo as he sees a red figure hop down to his rooftop.

"Hey, Bugaboo." he says, lifting a hand for a feeble wave.

"Don't 'Bugaboo' me!" Her words are chiding but the hands that cradle his head in her lap are gentle, almost hesitant. "Stupid kitty. Stupid- stupid- Why… why did you do that?"

"Well, you know me. Gotta be the knight for my lady." He feels her fingers tighten in his hair. He smiles. "It's okay. I'm okay."

There's water dripping on his face and it's not the rain pattering from the sky. But it might as well be. Her eyes are beautiful, although obscured by tears. It causes him pain but he stretches his hand up to stroke her cheek. "Ladybug..."

Her arms wrap around his shoulders as she pulls him in for an embrace and he can feel her tiny body shaking against his. It's cold but her body feels so warm. "You scared me," Her voice trembles. "Don't do that again! Y-you're important to me, Chat, unbelievably so and I don't want to lose you. Not ever… again..."

Chat leans in, kissing the loosened silky hair of his lady, throat rumbling as he hums in agreement.

"Hey… right back at you..."

" _...rien… Adrien… Adrien...!"_

The rainy scene in his mind's eye is torn away like a black hole sucked it in and he blinks blearily at the morning rays streaming through his blinds. He sits up and stretches his arms leisurely with a large yawn.

His vision is taken over by blue invading his face. "Rise and shine, my sleepy kitty!" He feels soft lips on his forehead briefly before the presence backs away. "About time you got up!"

Adrien smiles languidly at Marinette. "I had a dream."

She smiles back. "What kind of dream?"

He gazes off into space. "I dreamt of the time I was seriously hurt by an akuma. The Moralizer, wasn't it? You were worried about me and made me promise not to sacrifice myself for you again. I told you that it was the same for you…" he trails off.

"Oh, I remember that." She sits on the edge of his bed and ruffles his hair. "But what's got you frowning like that, sunshine?"

He lets her mess up his already messy head. "I really don't want to lose you either, Marinette..." he confesses.

Marinette takes his hand and presses it against her cheek, blue eyes looking into his adoringly. "I'm not going anywhere, Adrien."

He leans forward and places his free hand on her other cheek. "I know."

Giggling, she removes his hands from her face. "C'mon, get up. It's too early in the morning to be getting all mushy about things."

"Yeah." he agrees, chuckling as he gets out of bed to face the grey, grey world ahead of him.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

It's at times like these that Adrien feels that his world is truly right for once. Families playing catch on a Sunday afternoon, birds chirping to spread their joy across the world, and sitting in happy tranquillity with Marinette on a park bench in the Place des Vosges.

Marinette is sketching out a skirt design based on the water fountain while Adrien has his nose buried in her hair, enjoying the scent of vanilla that he has come to associate with his girlfriend. Sweet and addicting, like chocolate-chip cookies, much like Marinette.

Quite simply, it is utter bliss. He could never dream of anything better.

"What's that you're humming?"

"Hmm?" Adrien opens his eyes at Marinette's question, descending down from la-la land for a bit. "What?"

"Adrien, you've been humming that song for a while now. Don't tell me you haven't noticed?" she giggles, flicking his nose harmlessly.

Adrien wrinkles his nose as he thinks. He doesn't know what she's talking about at first but it occurs to him that she's right. "Ah, that. It's my mother's song. It was something she used to sing to me when I was little..."

Pretty blue eyes widen like a galaxy of stars. "Really? The song of your childhood, huh..." A hand raises up from her drawing to tap her chin in thought. "How does it go? I want to hear it, Adrien."

He smiles as he remembers it like it was only yesterday his mother last sang it to him. He remembers every word of that song, every note and he could even play it on the piano.

The world stops when he sings it to the imploring Marinette who closes her eyes to listen to the song. His mother made it up on a family trip to the mountains, he was told, and they were written for him and for the good times they had together. Sometimes, Adrien sang it to himself when he missed her. But now, with Marinette, he feels his mother's emotions, her love, being conveyed to her, from Adrien to Marinette, from Chat Noir to Ladybug.

Love. The feeling fills his heart to the brim as he sings, lighter than ever before.

Marinette opens her eyes when he finishes singing. She faces him brightly, dazzling Adrien for a second. "That was absolutely beautiful! Your mother must have loved you very much."

"She was a very loving mother..." He stretches his arm towards the sky for a moment before letting it drop down, limp.

Understanding, Marinette reaches a hand up to brush against his eyelids. It was wet. Had he been crying? "It's okay, Adrien. I'm here for you."

So he lets himself relax again.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

"And so she tells Madame Aiguille that she couldn't sew because-because her _dog_ bit her finger. And everyone in the room could just _smell_ the lie in her voice and I'm positive Madame Aiguille did too."

Marinette speaks with a mouth full of cheesecake as Adrien sits across from her, daintily eating his strawberry gateau piece by piece. He has an arm propped up against the table to rest his head on as he patiently listens to his girlfriend complain about a colleague in fashion school.

Even in moments when she was about as unladylike as a chimpanzee, he still finds himself no less smitten than before. She _is_ his lady after all.

After taking a gulp of her sweetened latte, she goes on. "But you know what she does? She lets her off. Just like that. _Completely scot-free_." She violently stabs her cheesecake with her fork. "Honestly, what has our society become? Where is the justice?"

Adrien chuckles. "I believe that's us."

The heroine across from him pouts adorably. "Well, it's not like Ladybug can just pop in randomly to put people in their place. She won't be there to guide everyone around by their tails like she is for you."

She pauses curiously as her partner reaches towards her to touch her cheek. He leans back in his chair with cream on his finger. "Are you sure it's not the other way round?" he quips, eyeing her intently as he licks the cream off.

At first, she blinks in disbelief, once, twice, before bursting out in laughter. "Oh, I'm sure, silly kitty!" she manages between giggles.

She digs into her cheesecake, with a little more care and attention now, and Adrien watches her, completely entranced, his own fork pressing uselessly against his lips. He watches her face morph into one of utter bliss as she properly savours the cake he bought for her. She rolls the strawberry playfully around on her plate before consuming that too. The sunlight streaming through the café window creates a soft halo around her, he swears, making her look like an angel.

The hazy background is nothing now as Marinette is the colourful existence who steals all of his attention away and Adrien smiles foolishly, strawberry gateau long forgotten.

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Adrien watches a monochrome Paris through the cold window while listening to the music of the rain pitter-patter against the glass. He had neglected to switch the light on, leaving the room enveloped in gloomy darkness.

Earlier, he was called by Nino to meet up because 'they had something to talk about' and Adrien was getting rather listless without Marinette's company, waiting for Nino to arrive.

And when he does, he is snapping fire, storming in like an executioner from hell. He doesn't even bother with a greeting as he points an angry finger at his best friend. " _You!_ What game do you think you're playing at?!"

"Me?" Adrien opens his palms like did nothing wrong. "What are you talking about?"

"Yes, you!" Nino fumes closer and fists Adrien's designer t-shirt, glaring up at the taller model. "What the hell have you been doing?! Why is it that I've been hearing that 'Adrien Agreste made an imaginary friend' these past few weeks? Have you gone nuts?!"

He feels his shirt beginning to tear, but he finds himself paying more attention to Nino's words.

"And why is it that you've been talking about Marinette all of a sudden after you've been _pretending_ she didn't exist for a whole year?" Thunder cracks against the clouds outside. Adrien keeps silent. Nino breaks. "Don't you _fucking_ dare screw around! Why is it that you choose to care about her after we've healed and put ourselves back together after so long?! Why _now_?!"

Adrien stares blankly in Nino's grey, grey eyes. Nino eventually boils over and his hands loosen. "Look, man. You're deluding yourself and you should stop it. It's not helping me, or Alya or your pa, let alone yourself! Just- stop it, please. We're all hurting, you should know that! But Marinette is gone and we should move on." A flash of lightning illuminates the trail of water streaking down Nino's face. "I-it's best if you moved on, for you and everyone around you. That's what _she_ would have wanted, Adrien."

The fire in Nino's grey eyes is all but a fizzled flame as he lets go of his shirt. "Adrien, you have to face it. She's gone."

But Adrien feels like a stranger. Nino's a stranger, with his grey eyes, grey cap and grey armbands where there should have been colour.

"I know."

And he leaves Nino slumping on the floor as he closes the room behind him.

He doesn't look back.

As he starts to walk away from the room, he hears a voice behind him. "Hey, kitty."

It's Marinette, smiling and brightening Adrien's world as always. "How are you doing?" she asks.

He smiles back. "Great."

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

Days pass peacefully and Adrien has never been happier.

His father has forbidden him from going to school or doing any photo shoots or going outside, ever. He remembers his cold, cold expression as he called him an utter disgrace to the Agreste name. And Adrien finds that he couldn't care less.

He's perfectly happy, sitting with his arms around Marinette and watching some trite action movie on his massive computer screen. He doesn't remember what the movie is about exactly but he enjoys watching Marinette's ever expressive faces at certain scenes.

"You're getting awfully light these days." he notes, tugging her waist gently. But it was true, she was getting extremely light and he could hardly feel her sitting on his knees.

Not only that but her scent was getting weaker. He noses the back of her neck, looking for his favourite scent of vanilla, of her, barely finding it and stroking her hair feels like running his hands through mist rather than smooth silk.

She turns around, smiling easily. "Well, you're forgetting me, aren't you?"

All of a sudden, his arms phase right through her body. She hops off his lap and steps away cheerfully, taking no heed of Adrien's panic and desperate attempts to grab hold of her body. He needed to feel her. Something. Anything to prove that she's there. Existing. _Living_.

She's still smiling. And it _tortures_ him.

"Marinette! Stay! I beg of you. Don't go... Please!"

Her image stills and fuzzes like a channel he's losing connection to. "Goodbye, Adrien."

He tries to take her shoulders, to bring her down, to no avail. He swipes through thin air. "I-is it something I've done? I can fix it, just tell me! I-I didn't forget you! I've always been thinking about you!"

And like a dream from so long ago, she's disappearing. _Again_. "Goodbye, Adrien."

But he couldn't give up. "No, goddammit, stop saying that!" Not just yet. "Why?! I just- there's still so many things I want to do with you, to say to you and- and-"

" _Goodbye, Adrien."_

Adrien collapses, destroyed, as if he used Cataclysm on his own heart. He gazes hopelessly at the empty air.

"… I just wanted to be with you…"

The movie on his computer plays on obliviously. Adrien faintly hears the protagonist scream and scream an

~ x ~ x ~ x ~

The sun is shining graciously on Adrien's world today, cheering the verdant green plants in his path and making the golden marigolds in his bouquet smile. The man himself is relaxed, dressed in casual clothing and walking at a moderate pace, simply on his way to meet a friend.

Yes, a friend. The thought lightens his step just a little bit more.

He reaches his destination and crouches down to place the flowers on top of a stone grave.

"Hi, Marinette." he says.

There is no response.

Only, the sweet, sweet songbirds tweet from the trees nearby.

He smiles. "I figured I should come bid you a proper farewell. I'm sorry it took so long."

"I should have known how much you loved Paris. You always did. And you were only trying to protect our city. And me. But instead, I became selfish and for that I was an idiot."

When he sighs, he feels like he's breathing out pieces of his heart.

"You must have been so angry with me. But if only you knew how important you are to me. To the _whole_ of Paris. Because Paris hasn't been the same since then. Ladybug and Chat Noir are revered as great heroes now but they're still being missed every day."

He strokes the engraved name on the grave. _Marinette_. "I miss you."

"But it's alright. I've realised now you're here. You've always been here. And that isn't something I'll be forgetting. Ever. And it's time that I stand on my own two feet and stopped worrying you."

And he stands up, beaming like the sun.

"Because... Chat Noir's a hero too, isn't that right?"

A tiny ladybug flies over to kiss the marigolds.

" _Goodbye, Marinette."_


End file.
